I’m counting down the minutes today.
At 9:40 I decided that since I don’t feel good, eating toast is perfectly acceptable. I didn’t. At 10, I decided I’d for sure eat something early and it was okay. I didn’t. At 10:35, I decided as long as I waited til 11, it was all good. Five minutes later I decided I’d hate myself if I ate early and it would never be worth it. I’ll wait til noon because I put these things in place to keep me safe.
I don’t know why I’m so angry today. I don’t know why I’m so mad and annoyed and short. I don’t know why it’s so hard.
I’m sick of being sick. I’m sick of others ignoring what I say. I’m sick of all the nonstop, even after a weekend of relatively chill.
I feel spread so thin, but I can’t expect a three year and an issue-filled dog who sheds faster than I can keep up and a newly adopted kitten to completely fend for themselves. Neither should they have to endure my anger.
I know more lurks deeper below the surface. I just don’t know what it is.