Oh it feels like coming home.
I hadn’t posted in so long. And then my phone died and I’ve been borrowing a phone and none of my stuff is on it, including easy access to this site. Tonight my fingers willed it tho. Even after none of the passwords I had seemed to work.
But I’m here now and it feels like breathing. I’ve missed writing so much. And at the same time, I’ve been leaning away from it. April and May are just too hard. I didn’t even want to go there. I couldn’t.
So instead I’ve spent the last few weeks walking the tightrope between doing and resting. Repairing and breaking. Moving and pausing.
*a three hour pause ensues where I spend an obscene amount of time reading a very old conversation*
You ever have one of those once in a lifetime conversations that lasts for a couple weeks? And you know at the time it’s something special? And five years later it’s still special. And ten.
It’s one of those.
And I didn’t seek it out tonight. I just came across it. And then it had me. And I’m okay with that.
It was good to be had.
Sleep now. More words tomorrow.