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One more minute.
Today I felt the weight of my eating disorder. Terrible pun not intended. It just felt so present today. And I felt so…absent. Looking back on the day–the last few days–I’m suddenly very aware that my period is due and … Continue reading
The silver leaves of ailing trees.
Over the weekend, I let bedtime routine slip some. Morning was the same, although actually he woke up before me today. Tonight was business as usual and we were lights out by 8:30ish. He was out by 8:59. It was … Continue reading
Posted in 2021, Uncategorized
Tagged [ . . . ], a strong foundation, accountability, bedtime, bedtime routine, eating disorder recovery, higher power, making space, marriage, mom'ing, owning the wins, practicing all the things, relief, showing up, step work, the middle one, the things that keep me on my path, the voices in my head, the youngest, typing while I'm too tired to keep my eyes open, weekend
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Wait another second.
I could feel it all bubbling over. So I moved myself to the dark bathroom and listened to AWOLNATION’s Sail really fucking loud. And then Stonewall by Life on Eris. And now it’s slightly better. I made it safer for … Continue reading
Down to the ground.
Chris and I have been trying to get the boys to bed earlier. Over the past few months it had been later and later, until they were both going to sleep after 10. The littlest would then wake up at … Continue reading
Posted in 2021, Uncategorized
Tagged bedtime, compromise, embrace the process, marriage, mom'ing, owning the wins, perfectionism
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Meet me where the lights dim.
I have the best girl. Today she was so cuddly. And sweet. And gosh, I just enjoyed the hell out of every second of that. She came up behind me this evening and wrapped herself around my shoulders. Tonight we … Continue reading
Posted in Adventures in quarantine, Uncategorized
Tagged content, flowers, hugs, mothers and daughters, relationships, surprises, the oldest one
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Anything but empty.
I let the universe take care of me today. I let the people who love me turn my day around. After I posted earlier, I went outside with the boys, but it wasn’t enough. My body needed to move. My … Continue reading
The dandelion sun scorching.
I’m momentarily coming to the end of my mental rope with friends not showing up for me. I’m sympathetic to the fact that people are going through things. And also I need some connection and I’m reaching out and they’re … Continue reading
Way too up to back down.
I RAN FOR TWO MINUTES!!!!!! Holy moly! I freaking basked in it. I then made the slight mistake of looking up how long in distance that two minutes was. A bit shy of .2 miles. I don’t know why suddenly … Continue reading
Posted in Adventures in running, Uncategorized
Tagged Eminem in my ear, faith, I can do hard things, killing it, Not Afraid, progress, random thoughts, running, training
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Dream a little dream of me.
I stayed up all night accidentally and now, suddenly, the sky is light and the birds are chirping away and it’s 4:57. My numbers. I never got tired. Even now I’m not so tired. What a weird night. And a … Continue reading