It’s on my mind today to eat. At breakfast I ate some on my regular food, but not all. Then I mindlessly ate some corn chips with the middlest while watching Arrested Development. I wasn’t full at the time, but after I stopped, I got full. And I’ve stayed full. And that was hours ago. I didn’t even really eat all that much.
So it’s an interesting thing to sit here and feel full. I’m not especially a fan. But as Julie taught me–it’s “an interesting sensation* and there’s no need to attach anything to it. It’s a fascinating exercise to not feel comfortable in my own skin. Like, literally.
In the past it’s been triggering for me to feel full. Today isn’t much different; the eating is still on my mind.
But I’m not engaging. And I’m not stomping about not engaging. I can feel the feelings without participating in the binge. I can remember “as often as possible” and know that possible is doable right now.
This is another instance where I tell myself that is a win, even tho my body doesn’t actually know it’s a win.
Baby steps.
How I’m showing up for myself today is enough.
