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The silver leaves of ailing trees.
Over the weekend, I let bedtime routine slip some. Morning was the same, although actually he woke up before me today. Tonight was business as usual and we were lights out by 8:30ish. He was out by 8:59. It was … Continue reading
Posted in 2021, Uncategorized
Tagged [ . . . ], a strong foundation, accountability, bedtime, bedtime routine, eating disorder recovery, higher power, making space, marriage, mom'ing, owning the wins, practicing all the things, relief, showing up, step work, the middle one, the things that keep me on my path, the voices in my head, the youngest, typing while I'm too tired to keep my eyes open, weekend
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Anything but empty.
I let the universe take care of me today. I let the people who love me turn my day around. After I posted earlier, I went outside with the boys, but it wasn’t enough. My body needed to move. My … Continue reading
The courage I know.
Yesterday was so amazing. And today is hard. PT this morning was good. Bittersweet. I don’t have any more scheduled appointments with Eliott and I don’t know if I will or not. Gotta see what my doc says about next … Continue reading
Trace the moment.
Chris and I have a perfect place. He found it first. He shared it with me. It’s this little tucked away place that doesn’t even feel like it’s part of our town. Or our state. It’s our sacred place. It’s … Continue reading
Burst like white light.
It’s my birthday. And I’m upstairs making pizzas for everyone while my husband is downstairs trying to perfect a song he wrote for me, which is my present, I’m assuming, whenever he is comfortable enough with it to come back … Continue reading
Hands of a clock.
If you were to ask Chris how our week has gone as a couple, he would say that we feel a million miles away. If you were to ask me, I’d say that he had some challenging days this week … Continue reading
The fire in your eyes.
Today I brought a freshly baked loaf of bread home from the store. My daughter was all ooooooh. I excitedly said, “feel how squishy!” She felt it and I could tell she wasn’t on board with my excitement. I said, … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged [ . . . ], family, growth mindset, marriage, my husband is the best, my sweet girl, parenting, progress, squishy bread, teenagers, wrist writing
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I’ll wait up for you, dear.
I had such a nice day with my husband. This sounds a little odd to say, seeing as it was a day filled with family and goings on and the neverendingness. But also. I had such a nice day with … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged [ . . . ], a little bit of home, Christmas, family, holidays, honey baked ham store, I can't remember the name of that song so I can't quote it now, I found it, I had to look it up..., I like you a lot, I've never falsely done anything to please someone before and I wouldn't start now if it wasn't true, my husband is the best, no lip service, so this is Christmas
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Thinking of ways to get back home.
Fuck. My eating disorder is fucking loud today. I had started my day excited that it felt like a new start of healthiness and healing. I made Brussels sprouts even! Oh, but did my body (mind?) have other plans! This … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged [ . . . ], addiction, al-anon, binge eating disorder, blanket fort, dude-shut up--I'm navigating, eating disorder, finding my way, food, fucking empaths, I should start taking the cbd a little earlier..., I wrote a lot of expletives, it looks messy and that's okay, letting your thing be your thing, marriage, mental health, practice what I preach
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The sun broke free of the clouds.
A letter to my husband: He once told you that I feel trapped. And I feel like it’s the biggest disservice he ever did us. There was never ever going to be me convincing you otherwise because his word was … Continue reading