Tag Archives: binge eating disorder

Just like you said it would be.

I didn’t eat the chocolate today.I *wanted* to eat the chocolate today. Well.A part of me wanted to eat the chocolate. I sat with it instead.I reminded myself it wouldn’t offset any of the feelings or reasons I wanted it … Continue reading

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Hey little girl.

It’s on my mind today to eat. At breakfast I ate some on my regular food, but not all. Then I mindlessly ate some corn chips with the middlest while watching Arrested Development. I wasn’t full at the time, but … Continue reading

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Step down from this.

I’m stomping. Oh my lord, I’m stomping. But I’m doing the damn thing too. Damnit. I’ve teetered all week on what I want my last 30 day food exemption to be for the next 90 challenge.  Last month I teetered … Continue reading

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The fire beneath my feet is burning bright.

A couple nights ago I shared with Chris my ribcage. Years ago (2014) I weighed much less and my ribcage was a great source of pride. I had worked hard for that weight loss. I had worked hard to overcome … Continue reading

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Sentiments, like shadows, grow.

I have a compulsion this morning to weigh myself. I know it’s just that–a compulsion. I know the rational. It doesn’t negate the irrational. Logically I know that, whatever the number on the scale, it isn’t indicative of my health … Continue reading

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To divide something so real.

So I want to talk about all of my weekly goals. Delve a little into what they look like and what they mean to me. How it all came to be. I should probably do this before I have weeks … Continue reading

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Damn sure better than rain.

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting. I wasn’t nervous at all when I left for the meeting. When I got there and sat down I was suddenly doing all my nervous things. People were inviting and warm, but also … Continue reading

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Thinking of ways to get back home.

Fuck. My eating disorder is fucking loud today. I had started my day excited that it felt like a new start of healthiness and healing. I made Brussels sprouts even! Oh, but did my body (mind?) have other plans! This … Continue reading

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Escape is never the safest path.

I keep making the not constructive choice. I mean, I realize it serves a purpose, the destructive choices–the eating choices, but they’re not constructive. They feed something in me. No pun intended. I’m just not certain they are fueling anything … Continue reading

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