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Just like you said it would be.
I didn’t eat the chocolate today.I *wanted* to eat the chocolate today. Well.A part of me wanted to eat the chocolate. I sat with it instead.I reminded myself it wouldn’t offset any of the feelings or reasons I wanted it … Continue reading
To get me through.
Today was a simplistically good day. I needed a reboot and I took it. This morning I decided that “as often as possible” would be abundant today. That the previous days were lacking in quantity and today gets to be … Continue reading
One more minute.
Today I felt the weight of my eating disorder. Terrible pun not intended. It just felt so present today. And I felt so…absent. Looking back on the day–the last few days–I’m suddenly very aware that my period is due and … Continue reading
The silver leaves of ailing trees.
Over the weekend, I let bedtime routine slip some. Morning was the same, although actually he woke up before me today. Tonight was business as usual and we were lights out by 8:30ish. He was out by 8:59. It was … Continue reading
Posted in 2021, Uncategorized
Tagged [ . . . ], a strong foundation, accountability, bedtime, bedtime routine, eating disorder recovery, higher power, making space, marriage, mom'ing, owning the wins, practicing all the things, relief, showing up, step work, the middle one, the things that keep me on my path, the voices in my head, the youngest, typing while I'm too tired to keep my eyes open, weekend
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How quick the sun can drop away.
Addictions are so…smarmy. I mean, sometimes it is so fucking easy. It’s over off the periphery. I’m not thinking about it at all or just barely. I can even note to myself “it hasn’t been hard.” And then BAM! out … Continue reading
Lighting up the dark.
Checking in. Busy fucking day. So many appointments. It was almost nonstop driving. Yet there was something really great about it. Purpose. I liked it. I handled it and none of it was hard. Showing up felt good. Like breathing. … Continue reading
The wolves came and went and we’re still standing.
Today I worked my program in a way I’m really proud of. I not only remembered, but I articulated, the importance of staying my path. That I’m right where I’m supposed to be, even if it’s hard. I’m learning the … Continue reading
From up above and down below.
As the weekend comes to a close, and I suddenly have two healthy eating days behind me, I can’t help but just fucking bask in the gratitude. I don’t have to worry about this week or even tomorrow. I have … Continue reading