Tag Archives: eating disorder recovery

Just like you said it would be.

I didn’t eat the chocolate today.I *wanted* to eat the chocolate today. Well.A part of me wanted to eat the chocolate. I sat with it instead.I reminded myself it wouldn’t offset any of the feelings or reasons I wanted it … Continue reading

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To get me through.

Today was a simplistically good day. I needed a reboot and I took it. This morning I decided that “as often as possible” would be abundant today. That the previous days were lacking in quantity and today gets to be … Continue reading

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Taking its wear.

It crossed my mind today “as much as possible” and it didn’t dawn on me until a second ago when I was typing it that it’s “as often as possible.” Make healthy food choices as often as possible. And I … Continue reading

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One more minute.

Today I felt the weight of my eating disorder. Terrible pun not intended. It just felt so present today. And I felt so…absent. Looking back on the day–the last few days–I’m suddenly very aware that my period is due and … Continue reading

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The silver leaves of ailing trees.

Over the weekend, I let bedtime routine slip some. Morning was the same, although actually he woke up before me today. Tonight was business as usual and we were lights out by 8:30ish. He was out by 8:59. It was … Continue reading

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How quick the sun can drop away.

Addictions are so…smarmy. I mean, sometimes it is so fucking easy. It’s over off the periphery. I’m not thinking about it at all or just barely. I can even note to myself “it hasn’t been hard.” And then BAM! out … Continue reading

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Lighting up the dark.

Checking in. Busy fucking day. So many appointments. It was almost nonstop driving. Yet there was something really great about it. Purpose. I liked it. I handled it and none of it was hard. Showing up felt good. Like breathing. … Continue reading

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The wolves came and went and we’re still standing.

Today I worked my program in a way I’m really proud of. I not only remembered, but I articulated, the importance of staying my path. That I’m right where I’m supposed to be, even if it’s hard. I’m learning the … Continue reading

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From up above and down below.

As the weekend comes to a close, and I suddenly have two healthy eating days behind me, I can’t help but just fucking bask in the gratitude. I don’t have to worry about this week or even tomorrow. I have … Continue reading

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Step down from this.

I’m stomping. Oh my lord, I’m stomping. But I’m doing the damn thing too. Damnit. I’ve teetered all week on what I want my last 30 day food exemption to be for the next 90 challenge.  Last month I teetered … Continue reading

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