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The fire beneath my feet is burning bright.
A couple nights ago I shared with Chris my ribcage. Years ago (2014) I weighed much less and my ribcage was a great source of pride. I had worked hard for that weight loss. I had worked hard to overcome … Continue reading
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Tagged binge eating disorder, body dysmorphia, constructive behavior, Dave Hollis, destructive behavior, eating disorder recovery, growth mindset, healthy food relationship, keto, made for more, marriage, navigating the past, next90 challenge, Rachel Hollis, rachel martin, story time with Jill, stress, the universe, when there is finally a moment where feeling good doesn't feel bad, whole30, yoyo dieting
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It took some time to survive you.
I’ve been disconnecting my why and my who from my present the past few days. I’m sure there’s a reason. I’m sure that reason is important. But I haven’t tread there yet. I haven’t come here to pick it apart. … Continue reading
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Tagged communication, eating disorder, eating disorder recovery, food as comfort, food don't fix, future me, marriage, my who, my why, navigating, one foot in front of the other, Rachel Hollis, relationships, self awareness, self care, stress, the hard things, writing, writing as therapy
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I know what I know if you know what I mean.
Future me shared in confidence today. This eating disorder can appear at any time–nature of the disease. When things are really blah or really awesome. Any time it wants. Future me stays proactive. So I stay proactive. Today the boys … Continue reading
Close your eyes and think of me.
Yesterday I suddenly became so freaking excited about all the things I’ve got going on–the growth mindset and decluttering (which is starting to feel really tangible again) and my very own website that I’m diligently working to launch. And fast … Continue reading
Close your eyes and think of me.
Yesterday I suddenly became so freaking excited about all the things I’ve got going on–the growth mindset and decluttering (which is starting to feel really tangible again) and my very own website that I’m diligently working to launch. And fast … Continue reading
Sentiments, like shadows, grow.
I have a compulsion this morning to weigh myself. I know it’s just that–a compulsion. I know the rational. It doesn’t negate the irrational. Logically I know that, whatever the number on the scale, it isn’t indicative of my health … Continue reading
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Tagged auchduh, be, binge eating disorder, body dysmorphia, compulsive thoughts, eating disorder, eating disorder recovery, honoring my body, making the choice, morning routines, non-scale victory, ocd, progress, putting in the work, self care, self talk, self worth, weight loss
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A drop in the ocean.
I never understand how my dog gets herself so bent in half. She always falls asleep so deeply like this tho, usually right at my feet. It’s been in the back of my mind for a couple months now that … Continue reading
I don’t want to wait.
I had this moment today where I realized I had had three constructively successful days in a row. And I wanted to take a picture of the meal I was making, but then I got self-conscious about my vegetables and … Continue reading
And made my way back home.
After a season of internal stagnation and some days flat out destructive ruin, I think I’m ready to commit to myself again. I’m ready to start growing the things.
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Tagged constructive, eating disorder, eating disorder recovery, goals, growth, it's time, self therapy, work in progress
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May 27th PM2
In my plans for following my body and not my mind (they’ll find symbiosis in time), I have decided the nicest (read: most efficient) thing to do is stop eating foods that make my body feel terrible. Not classes of … Continue reading
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Tagged condiments, constructive, eating disorder recovery, food, honoring my body, inflammation, quality of food
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